Time Doesn't Matter

Approximate Read Time: 6-7 min

Note to Readers: This piece explores a personal journey through early childhood trauma and the path toward forgiving the unforgivable. It includes mentions of physical abuse. Please read with care and mindfulness of your own boundaries.

Today (April 13, 2026), I decided to thank someone for something they did over 45 years ago. There is a backstory of course.

I didn't speak to my mom for the majority of my 30 year adult lifespan. Today, she is one of my best friends. 

My mom and my family had it harder than average growing up as children, and that is definitely an understatement. 

She wasn't prepared to be a mom back then, and there were way less resources than there are now. 

In one of our many healing conversations recently, it came out that my physical abuse started before I was 2 years old. My mom and my family did a lot of things that would be considered unforgivable by society's standards. 

After many hard knocks in life and raising my own children, I have compassion for all mothers, but especially mine. See, we can only do the best we can with the information and skills that we have at the moment. Expecting anything more is just not realistic.

There are many things out of our control, the environment we're born into, and traumatic events, just to name a couple. 

I had heard the stories before about a neighbor man, who would come over to my house when I was a very tiny baby, and hold me and care for me so that my mother would have a break. 

See, not only could he hear me, the infant crying, in the home living next door to him, but he could hear the mother, who could not handle life or her crying child.

My mom experienced extreme abuse as a child, and then married a man who abused her. On top of all this,  her baby was born disabled. The hand that life dealt her was not very fair, and there was no one to give her the skills she needed to deal with it all. 

Recently, I decided to track down the man that used to come and show compassion instead of judgment for me and my mother, a man who gave my mother strength and a reprieve and in all likelihood saved me from much more extreme abuse.

With the technology of today, it didn't take long, just a few details from my mom, and I had tracked him down in a matter of minutes. 

Many years ago, while in the Houston airport, coming back from a flight out of the country, I received a phone call. On the other end of the line was a timid, young, female voice who wanted confirmation that she had reached the correct person. She proceeded to tell me that I was her hero. I was so taken back by the phone call that I had to sit down, and everything that was in my hands in the airport was lost forever.

Today, over 45 years later,  I did for someone what that young girl did for me. 

I was the timid female voice on the other end of the line, confirming that I had reached the correct person. 

The phone call was much more emotional than I could have imagined. I couldn't even hardly get words out, other than my mom's name and that I was okay, to just give me a moment to collect myself. 

Since most phone calls that start this way usually come with bad news, the man on the other end of the phone was getting pretty nervous, and I was desperately trying to pull myself together enough so that he would understand that I was calling to tell him something good. 

After a few moments, I caught my breath, and told him I was calling to thank him. I told him that I knew what he did for me and my mother, and while it probably seemed like something small in the moment, I am incredibly grateful that he was there to protect me as an infant and I wanted him to know that while my life has been filled with trauma, it has also been filled with greatness, and I want to do for others what he did for me, I want to give back.

I told him about my life, and I sent him photos, photos over the span of my lifetime. I wanted him to see that those small acts of kindness instead of judgment led to a life of beauty and wanting to do for others as well. 

At the end of the phone call, he expressed how incredibly grateful he was that I called, and told me that my phone call could not have come at a better time in life for him. He really needed hope and inspiration to continue helping people in his life. 

Decades later, I decided to contact someone who came to mind, who did something for me when I was so tiny that I can't even remember. Had I not reached out, he might never have known the lasting impact his small act of kindness had on so many lives.

The girl who reached out to me in the airport, it had been at least 10 years or so since I had heard from her. I didn't realize the impact I had on her life. I pray I hear from her again in the future. I wish I could do more. 

Don't hesitate to speak from the heart, and tell those who have done something kind for you how much you appreciate it. The acknowledgment, no matter how much time has passed, will mean more to them than you ever know.

Truly,

Margot X. Sterling

Author | Speaker | Transformation Expert

Conflict Resolution | Resilience Strategist

Mastering the X-Point: Where shadow meets strength.

This is Margot around 2 years old in one of her many body casts.