Choose to Look at the Light

When I was in the deepest depths of my depression, spiraling down into the hell that was inside my head, I made a choice to start looking at the Light instead of all the individual colors.

Approximate Read Time:  2-4 min

Warning: This post contains personal reflections on emotional healing and sensitive discussions regarding self-perception. Please prioritize your well-being while reading. 

I love sparkly things! I love to wear things that sparkle, I love things around me that sparkle, and if I can add sparkles to it, I will do that as well.

I love making things beautiful. In my eyes, sparkles make everything better!

This has been a part of me my whole life. I never gave it much thought. Our society very much correlates sparkles with expensive things, yet, money has never been a motivator in my life.

I did start contemplating this recently, I knew it was never about the monetary value of the sparkle. It's about the Light. I love the Light and the colors.

When I purchased this print, I absolutely fell in love with it in the store. 

If you had asked me to describe it, I would have told you that it is filled with colors of blue and purple, but that's really it. I actually felt a little guilty that my favorite painting had so little variety of color. But, to me, it feels like a representation of the Aquarius goddess watching over the Earth and humanity. 

I see the symbols in the painting like the one between her eyes, signifying insight, and connection to the universe through her hair.

When I purchased it, I knew I didn't have an ideal space to put it in, but one day it will find its perfect location in my home. So I initially hung it where I hang my pajamas, because there was already something to hang it on. When I hung it up and stepped back, the painting was a completely different color. Suddenly,  all I could see was the color of Merlot. 

The painting was hanging next to my Merlot colored night gown. 

I sat down and contemplated this for a while and realized my favorite thing about the painting is the Light. 

All I was really choosing to see was the Light.

This print is filled with various colors. So many shades of blues and purples, but there's reds and there's hints of yellows, and even a little bit of green. There's all the colors of the rainbow in this painting, and this is the analogy of my life. 

When I was in the deepest depths of my depression, spiraling down into the hell that was inside my head, I made a choice to start looking at the Light instead of all the individual colors.

Without the colors, I would not have seen the Light. 

Such is life, the colors come in a variety of experiences. 

Anger, rage, sadness, elation, joy, love, and so many other variations.

I see the colors, I make time to truly feel all the colors, and to find the beauty in all of them in a way that I never did before.

When I was younger, I would run from feeling the colors. One day I gave in, and allowed myself to feel them all very deeply, and it changed my life. 

I realized that if I allowed myself to feel them, they would slowly dissolve away.  Always keeping in mind that “this too shall pass”.

I see the colors in life now, I allow myself to find enjoyment in all of them, but now, most of my days, I choose to focus on the Light. 

The darkness is gone forever!

Truly,

Margot X. Sterling

Author | Speaker | Transformation Expert

Conflict Resolution | Resilience Strategist

Mastering the X-Point: Where shadow meets strength.